What worries you about dating with food allergies?

Question Mark

We all have some areas that we feel more comfortable in and others that we just don’t. Dating wasn’t always something I felt comfortable with. It took me time to get there. What questions do you have about dating with food allergies? What did you wish you knew? Is there anything you feel might prepare you or perhaps your child for entering the world of dating?

Is it the first kiss? Or a dinner date?

Leave a comment here and we’ll get the conversation going.

2 thoughts on “What worries you about dating with food allergies?

  1. Dating is tricky enough, and with allergies it can be scary. No matter how much you try and protect your children as they are growing up, as a parent you have very little control over when your teenager is going to start “swapping spit”. By the time my daughter was a teenager, she had already become her own best advocate for her well-being in terms of dealing with her allergies. It was a natural progression…when she was little, I was anxious when she was invited to a birthday party or to a new friend’s house. We learned how to deal with it (prepared an index card for the parents explaining her allergies, helped to ensure that the foods were okay to eat or bringing our own food that we knew was okay). I tried to create an environment that wasn’t adding to my daughter’s anxiety. She was in charge – this gave her power over the allergies rather than being a victim of it. She didn’t hesitate to ask what her date had recently eaten. She wasn’t kissing her boyfriend if he had eaten something that she was allergic to. Restaurants can be tricky. You put a lot of trust in the waiter/waitress and it is usually best to speak with the manager. Cross contamination is a risk in restaurants. You might be ordering an okay food, but if the chef used the same knife or cutting board it could be a problem.
    For adults dating with allergies – I think of it as a great way to determine your date’s tolerance. Re-entering the dating scene after a divorce is a huge adjustment. I found that it was better to bring it up before going on a first date. It’s tough enough to meet at a restaurant for a dinner date when you don’t know each other that well. Many restaurants have their menu on-line so you can predetermine what you can eat before you get there. And, it gives you an opportunity to call the restaurant before you arrive if you need to. It does get pretty awkward if your date has chosen a restaurant where you might be allergic to most of the menu, and you’re trying to look adorable while at the same time trying to read the menu in candlelight with fading eyesight (if you’re fifty or more you’ll know what I mean). For myself, I looked at it as my was of determining how well my date would handle a situation. I didn’t make a big deal about it, but I recognized a few dating “duds” by how they reacted to it.

    • Thanks for sharing Alexis! You have given so much insight in your comment. My parents were huge on building my confidence and having me become my own best advocate. At a very young age they had me asking kitchen staff about the food, calling restaurants, planning my meals and cooking. I remember when I first started asking at restaurants and such I was so shy however as time progressed I started to feel a whole lot more comfortable and proud that I could ask for myself. Not going to lie, there were times that I used to think “I wish my parents would ask the manager”, however looking back I am so fortunate to have my parents build up my confidence the way they did and am so grateful for it.

      Creating an environment that doesn’t add more anxiety for the allergic child is so HUGE and I commend you for it. I know that the reason I was always so calm, collected and aware about the different restaurant scenes, birthday parties and such was entirely thanks to the environment my parents created. Trusting your child or teen and helping them become their own best advocate is so pivotal, even though I can hardly imagine the fear for the parent, when they start to loosen the reins a little…

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