When I first arrive at the restaurant, I always ask to speak with the manager and chef. If there is a host/hostess, and we are waiting to be seated, I always ask to see a menu, and will often ask them if they have any recommendations for me. Personally, I like to speak with more than 1 person at the restaurant. I find it makes me feel more comfortable to know that several staff are aware and looking into it.
Some restaurants I will even ask to speak with the chef in person. If there are many allergens on the menu I like to know that the chef and I are on the “same page” I always go by the saying “you can never be too careful”.
If there is any uneasyness with the kitchen staff or manager about the food situation, follow your gut. There is no harm in getting up and going to another restaurant. The LAST thing you want, is to be worrying throughout your entire meal! Not worth it.
Tomorrow I will mention some tips about talking with the staff. What to say, how to say it etc. And please keep in mind, this is what I do, and not the rule. Everyone has their routine, I am simply sharing mine